A Bedtime Story for Mommy

Once upon a time, there was a mommy who LOVED her life with her husband and two precious children. Her family made her feel like a queen and she treasured spending time with them. But the queen did not like it when her castle was messy. As hard as she tried, she just could not relax in a messy house. She feared that an unexpected guest would find her home in absolute filth. Laundry made the queen especially irritated. Sometimes as the queen begrudgingly did her chores, she even acted more like a "wicked stepmother" instead of the nice mommy God designed her to be. The queen was angry because she would rather be snuggling in a chair reading to her prince and princess than folding the evil piles of laundry that never seemed to end.

One day at a time and several years later, the queen decided that she had had enough! No more would she allow a messy house to bother her and steal her joy. She decided that she would do a few chores a day instead of letting them all pile up. She got herself organized and made a cleaning schedule. She gave her children age appropriate chores and made it fun for them to complete them. She made a pact with the another queen in her kingdom that they would not feel obligated to clean their castles before having each other over. And when the chores did pile up as they just seem to do, she made time with her husband and children the priority.

She studied Proverbs 31 and began to consider it an act of worship to care for her family. By changing her perspective about her chores, the queen began to actually enjoy her mundane tasks. She even found that listening to Christian music while folding laundry magically transformed her once dreaded chore into much needed time alone with God.

So, the moral of the story is...

Housework can wait, my children need kisses.
They want me to play, I'll put off the dishes.
When they're grown, I'll keep the house spic 'n' span...
But children grow fast so I'll play while I can.

And...when unexpected guests arrive and the house is a mess...
Repeat the following:
"The house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it!"

Now that's a fairy tale ending!

Great Day at Dowdy-Ficklen

From the Mouths of Babes

Sometimes Ashley and Paul just crack me up with the one-liners they come up with. This week has been full of them.

I enjoy listening to worship music in the van as we start our day. However, Paul has been known to protest female vocalists, terming it "girl music". He prefers a male vocal. Okay, simple enough. So after a trip to Wal-Mart I was very excited about the four Chris Tomlin CDs I purchased thinking this would be just perfect. I could already picture my kids in the backseat learning the words to the popular choruses our church often sings. I imagined me explaining a verse each morning and having discussions about God. So, when Paul asked if we could listen to one of their audiobooks, I explained that we would be listening to "church music" to start our day and that we could enjoy his stories in the afternoons. To which he replied, "Man you don't know anything about kids!"

That evening after I put on his bicycle helmet, he pointed that I had put it on backwards and said "Mommy, only BOYS know how to do these things!"

So on to Ashley's one-liners. . .Since the first day of school, she has been telling me about a girl in her class who was "really mean". During bedtime snuggles, Ashley confessed that she almost got in trouble for talking. As I questioned why, this is the story she shared: "Well she (the mean girl) even made one poor little thing cry. So I told her I was going to issue her a challenge" A What? Where does she get this stuff? Well, Ashley what was the challenge? "Well I told her that tomorrow all the people at our table were going to dress pretty like in pink and if everybody dressed pretty then she would have to join our team and start being nice". Well, there you have it. The school psychologists' daughter just took it upon herself to create her own behavior plan...

So last night I asked how things were going with her "challenge". She explained what she told her friend, "My Mommy fixes kids and I'm going to ask if she can get that mean girl an appointment". Thank you very much Ashley, but Mommy has about all the referrals she can handle at the moment.

So, while one child thinks I know "nothing about kids", at least the other has some faith in my skills...Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ashley. I certainly needed it after Paul's remarks.

Kindergarten, Here I Come!

Kindergarten here I come,
I know I'll have lots of fun!
Lots of things to make and do,
Reading, writing, counting too!
Kindergarten here I come,
I know I'll have lots of fun!

Through A Mother's Eyes

On Thursday, Paul will begin Kindergarten. One part nervous, one part excited, he will most likely hold my hand as his Daddy and I walk him to his class. With cameras in tow, we will document his first day of school (and hopefully not embarrass him) . People in the hall will see my little guy proudly wearing his new backpack as we head towards his class.

But they won't see him through his mother's eyes...His mother will see a little boy who will always be her baby... even as he grows and learns to do new things.

And she will ask herself, "Where have the past five years gone?" She will selfishly beg time to stand still for just a moment more and tearfully realize the impossibility of her request. But deep down inside, she knows that a new adventure is just ahead with more childhood joys just waiting to be discovered together.

Are You a Helicopter Mom?

Recently, a friend described the two of us as helicopter moms. She nailed it. I hover. Like many other moms, I'm very protective of my children. Lately as I talked with two of my closest friends, we agreed that despite our best efforts, accidents just happen sometimes. I'm sure others can relate to that guilty feeling when your child gets hurt and you blame yourself. If only I had just _____.(you fill in the blank) My personal favorite has to be, "If only I had put the razor up higher in the shower so my two year old wouldn't be tempted to shave like Daddy and slice his lower lip." Ouch.

Its not just bodily harm we must be concerned about. God has entrusted us to guard their hearts and minds from all that may tarnish their precious innocence. And since we can't hover over them constantly, we must teach them to steer away from ungodly influences. Children begin to distinguish right from wrong very early on and as parents we must equip them with the necessary decision making skills so they will be able to make good choices in life.

There was only one perfect parent, and I'm so grateful for the assurance that He will keep our children under His watchful eye. So, as the summer closes and another school year begins, pray that God will protect our little ones from all harm and then trust Him to do just that.

Inspired to Journal

There are many reasons I write. I began to enjoy journaling when Ashley and Paul were babies. I quickly became discouraged by the limited information their "baby books" contained. I dutifully documented each milestone and new tooth, but found nowhere to record the funny things they'd say or do. There was no page to hold their mother's thoughts as she rocked them back to sleep in the quiet of night.

As my children get older, I enjoy reading through memories that I likely would have forgotten. One day, when they are older and perhaps have children of their own, they will be able to read the stories from their childhood and their mother's thoughts as she watched them grow.

No one knows when God will call you home. Several months ago hearing the word cancer from my doctor made me think about this. A lot. Fortunately, the outlook was very positive and praise God I am now cancer free. But the reality is that one day, I may not be here and I always want Ashley and Paul to know how much they are loved.

So, the journal writer turns blogger. The blog will provide a way to digitally preserve precious memories while sharing them with family and friends. I enjoy scrapbooking, but never seem to have the time. I am hoping this will be a more efficient way to share the stories behind the photos.

Leaving a Legacy

I have fond memories of my grandparents. As I grew up, I took notice of the qualities that made them who they were.

Grandmama and Granddaddy Armstrong (my mother's parents) lived in Creswell and we would often visit them on Sunday afternoons. Without fail, Grandmama would invite us into her tiny little kitchen for "a party". She always had grape soda and snack cakes/cookies on hand to entertain her young guests. If I had to choose one word to describe her, it would be selfless. She always gave the best she had to someone else. When I think about Granddaddy Armstrong, I picture him playing his guitar quoting Scripture from memory. Or letting me style his hair when I was little. And getting me to try and spell "Nebuchadezzar". I can see him chuckling right now. It has been ten years since he took his last breath, and my eyes still fill with tears when I think about how much I miss him. Ashley and Paul would have really liked him.

Grandmama and Granddaddy Rath's home was in Roper and their cottage was just down the road. I remember that they were always very neighborly and could be often found visiting friends. Grandmama loved her rose garden and always seemed to be bringing someone a colorful bouquet. I can easily picture Granddaddy with his Polaroid camera making that silly noise with his tongue to get you to look at the camera. And the saying 'one man's trash is another man's treasure' could have been his motto. Granddaddy could take what one might consider junk and make it work again.

I can see a little of each of my grandparents in myself. I love hosting children's parties, gardening, and photography. And one day I hope to have the level of Biblical understanding that Granddaddy A. had after a lifetime of study.

I am so grateful for the Christian heritage my grandparents had in common and instilled in my parents. My grandparents left behind a legacy of their Christian faith and used their talents to serve God. I see my parents following in their footsteps.


Now, as little eyes watch me everyday, I find myself thinking about the legacy I want to leave for my own children. As parents, we have the opportunity and responsibility of continuing our spritual legacy through the lives of our children. Our actions speak louder than our words, so modeling our faith in our everyday lives becomes critical. Just as those before us have used their individual talents to serve God, we must do the same.

In adition to modeling our faith, praying scriptural blessings for our children is crucial. Pray that God will fill our children with His Holy spirit and show them how to exercise their spiritual gifts and enable them to bear all the fruit of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control (Eph 5:18, 1 Cor 12:4-28, Gal 5:22-23).

What will your spiritual legacy be? Every moment matters.

Glimpses from the Past

One of the college courses within my minor inlcuded a course in family relations. One of the requirements was completion of a family history project. I realized that unlike most of my peers, I had the rare opportunity to interview all four of my grandparents. Now, 11 years later, all four have been called home to meet their Heavenly Father and be reunited with their loved ones.

Having grown up near my grandparents, I knew them well, but learned much more during those interviews. Stories about their childhoods, marriage proposals, and even what my parents were like as children were recorded on video. These stories along with photos and family genealogy were gathered into a book to complete the project. Who knew a class assignment would become something I would eventually treasure? While the video quality isn't the best, I'm planning to transfer these videos to DVD to give to our family members at Christmas. I hope they will enjoy them as much as I have.

Each family has its own unique stories. There are anecdotes my parents share that no one else can convey quite the way they do. So, the next phase of this project will be interviewing my parents using the same questions that I posed to my grandparents. If you would like to preserve your family memories for your own children through the use of oral histories, the interview format I use can be found here.